The
ill thought out remarks by Presidential spokesman, Garba Shehu, to the
effect that rodents had damaged the President's office, forcing him to
work from home should not come as a surprise to discerning Nigerians and
neither should we blame Mr. Shehu for the infantile lie.
You
see, once the decision had been reached at the highest levels to be
less than transparent about President Muhammadu Buhari's health
situation, there was really nothing much that his media aides could do.
If
I was Garba Shehu, what I would have said is that the President has a
backlog of work and so had to cancel FEC and focus fully on clearing
this backlog from home! It would not be a lie being that the President
is always on call 24/7.
As
a Presidential spokesman, lying is the last thing you want to do. Your
job is to find creative, but not dishonest, ways to make the bitter
truth palatable to the general public. Lack of creativity is a greater
liability to a Presidential spokesman than lack of funds.
And
the remark itself (“Following the three months’ period of disuse,
rodents have caused a lot of damage to the furniture and the air
conditioning units") reminds me of the iconic movie, Of Mice and Men.
Of
Mice and Men is a 1937 book by John Steinbeck, which got made into a
movie. It tells the tale of of two California migrants workers who roam
from town to town during the Great Depression in search of greener
pastures.
How fitting that the lie told by Mr. Shehu should dovetail into Steinbeck's classic.
Just
like in Of Mice and Men, we have a migrant President who moves back and
forth from London to Abuja. And again like Steinbeck's classic, he does
so in a depression.
The
only difference is that while George Milton and Lennie Small were the
victims of a depression caused by others, President Muhammadu Buhari is
not a victim but a perpetrator of the fastest negative turnaround of an
economy from the third fastest growing economy in the world to an
economy in recession.
There
are many other parallels one can draw from the movie and the comedy the
Buhari administration is unleashing on the nation, but one has to be
careful in drawing attention to them especially in these days that the
military is scouring social media for "anti-government and anti-military
information".
But
I just wonder how Garba could have said ?"Rodents have caused a lot of
damage to the President's office" with a straight face! Really Garba
Shehu! There should be limits to propaganda.
It
is only in Nigeria that "rodents" will chase a lion away from his den!
Garba, please you should be too decent for this, leave lies for Lai
Mohammed! If President Muhammadu Buhari is not strong enough to go to
the office, simply say the truth and shame the devil.
I
have been in the President of Nigeria's office. It is cleaned everyday.
I also had an office in the villa and I traveled abroad for a long
period and nothing happened to my office.
The
Presidency has projected President Buhari as an anti-corruption
crusader with strong integrity and credibility. Such infantile lies as
this rat story rubbishes that image! It also portrays the Buhari
administration as a government severely deficient in intelligence!
Almost
every international news agency carried the ridiculous story in a way
that belittled Nigeria. BBC, AFP, RFI and even China Xinhua News!
Worldwide
the Muhammadu Buhari administration has turned Nigeria into an
international joke because of an inept President and his inept aides!
I
mean it is just clear that the President still needs to recover and
that he only returned because the pressure from Charly Boy's
#ReturnorResign group had become unbearable, especially when they
announced that they had gotten a permit from the Metropolitan Police in
London to protest outside Abuja House.
Of
all things to use as an excuse, it has to be rats! If you are wondering
why the rats in your city have reduced, wonder no more. They have all
relocated to seek greener pastures at Aso Rock!
But
on a serious note though, President Yar'adua left Nigeria on November
23, 2009 and did not return until February 10, 2010. Thereafter he was
at the Presidential Villa until he died on May 5, 2010. For a period of 6
months, his office was vacant until Dr. Goodluck Jonathan succeeded
him. In all that time, rodents never destroyed his office. Which just
makes you wonder the type of rodents that exist in Aso Rock under
President Muhammadu Buhari the man who promised Nigerians change but
ended up giving those who voted him as President chains!
As
for the Nigerian military who will now monitor social media for
"anti-government information", I can only say what a lovely change! Did I
hear you say chains!
Can
any comment be more "anti-government" than this comment made by Buhari
on May 15, 2012 "by the grace of God, the dog and the baboon would all
be soaked in blood"? And can any comment be anti Nigerian than this
comment made by the same man on July 25, 2015 "The constituents, for
example, gave me 97% cannot in all honesty be treated on some issues
with constituencies that gave me 5%"?
So
funny when the father of hate speech and the king pin of
anti-government talk now wants to deal with those who have not even come
close to doing what he has done!
And
after His misspeak on why the President had to work from home, ?Garba
Shehu followed up with a statement warning that the Presidency will
henceforth not tolerate harsh words being used on President Muhammadu
Buhari and said "calling Buhari an enemy of Nigeria was in extremely bad
taste".
Is
this not the same Buhari that said on May 15, 2012 and I quote "the
biggest Boko Haram is the Federal Government.” Buhari called the
government of Goodluck Jonathan a Boko Haram government without
providing proof and now complains about being criticized! Mr. President,
buy a mirror and arrest the person you see in it as an example of your
zero tolerance for "harsh words"!
These shenanigans are annoying enough, but to add salt to injury, along comes Yahaya Bello!
?To
show how useless governance has become under the APC, Yahaya Bello, a
state Governor declares a public holiday to celebrate President
Muhammadu Buhari's return!
Now,
I sympathize with President Buhari, but aren't public holidays meant to
be for events pertaining to a nation's history? President Buhari has
been a resident of the U.K. for over a hundred days, has he ever known
the U.K. to proclaim a public holiday because the Queen returned from
hospital?
Our
army killed at least 347 Shiite men, women, children and infants, our
Air Force killed 119 people at the Rann IDP camp in a mistaken bombing.
We did not declare any national mourning. Yet we declare a public
holiday for Buhari's return! This is the height of sycophancy!
Well, enough about the Presidency's ineptitude and comedic behavior, let me change the mood of this piece and enter second base.
Someone
tell Oby Ezekwesili that it is hypocritical to complain about a soup
you helped cook just because you were not given your share!
She
was used to bring down a good man and thereafter dumped and now she is
bitter and she wants to feign that she is one of us who are genuinely
opposing a dictatorial and clueless government for patriotic reasons!
Where
are her fellow #BringBackOurGirls colleagues? Are they not now holding
very, very, very juicy positions in President Muhammadu Buhari's
government? She is a woman scorned because her lover (APC) enjoyed her
pleasures but refused to marry her. Now she wants to use Nigerians to
get her revenge! We are not that foolish!
Imagine
Oby Ezekwesili complaining of President Muhammadu Buhari's "missed
opportunity". She is one of those who helped him get the opportunity to
miss an opportunity!
It
is an insult to our sensibilities for this woman to start wailing like
she is doing! Has she forgotten when she was giving keynote speeches at
All Progressive Congress events where she demonized former President
Jonathan and deified Buhari by calling him a "discipline instilling"
leader on March 7, 2014?
Did it occur to her at that event that she was empowering the very person she is now denouncing?
People
like Oby are like the bush rat that Chinua Achebe wrote about. They
bite you and blow breeze on your wounds so you won't know the damage
they have caused. If Oby wants to know who is responsible for bringing
Buhari to power, I can buy her a mirror. I assure her it won't be a
pretty sight!
Oby
Ezekwesili is a sanctimonious hypocrite who likes to criticize but does
not like to be criticized. She once threatened to report me to then
President Jonathan when I responded to her criticism, as if Dr. Jonathan
"gives a damn" about her opinions! The sad thing is that everybody, but
especially her Southeastern kith and kin, knows she was used and dumped
by people who know only too well her real nature.
I suspect that her
bitterness is that she could not attain the heights Ngozi Okonjo Iweala
has attained and is still attaining.
Now
she continues to prance about giving subdued messages to the Buhari
administration because she knows that if she unleashes on them like she
unleashed on Jonathan she will be taught the difference between a
democrat and a dictator! Oby, in case you do not know, you are a figure
of scorn in the Southeast zone where you come from and considered a
Quisling in the other zones of the federation.
Reno's Nuggets
When
you make it, women will flock around you. Tantalizing as they are,
don't forget the one who was there before you made it-mum! The love of
your life can't divorce you, can't be separated from you and won't sue
you. After God, your mother is the love of your life. Finally, marrying a
girl because of sex is like buying a car because of its sound system.
You will enjoy it, but you won't go anywhere #RenosNuggets
Reno
Omokri is a Christian TV talk show host and founder of the Mind of
Christ Christian Center and the Helen and Bemigho Sanctuary for orphans.
He is the author of the worldwide amazon #1 bestseller (Conspiracy
Theory) Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years: Chibok, 2015 and Other Conspiracies and three books, Shunpiking: No Shortcuts to God, Why Jesus Wept and Apples of Gold: A Book of Godly Wisdom.
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