You
didn't think that true satisfaction was determined by your social-media
following and bank account, did you? Well, you're right.
According to
the 75-year-long Harvard Study of Adult Development, the most important predictor of true happiness and well-being is the right kind of relationships with family, friends and spouses.
Study director Dr. Robert Waldinger — who also happens to be a Zen priest and professor of psychiatry at Harvard — explains
his team’s findings: “The clearest message that we get from this
75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
Period.” In a TED Talk
from last 2016, Waldinger noted that fostering and maintaining strong
relationships helped protect against mental illness, chronic disease and
memory decline.
According to Waldinger,
“The chronic stress of being lonely, of being unhappy, gets into the
body and breaks it down over time.” But the secret to well-being isn’t
constantly surrounding yourself with people and locking down a romantic
partner. The truth is, you can be lonely in a crowd
as well as in a romantic partnership in which you and your partner are
emotionally distant. “It’s not the number of relationships, but the
quality and depth of relationships that matters,” Waldinger explains.
So
we know strong relationships lead to health and happiness, but how do
we cultivate those quality relationships? “Giving people our full,
undivided attention is one of the most important things we have to
offer,” says Waldinger. That means disconnecting from your electronic
devices when you’re in the presence of your friends and family and
prioritizing interpersonal relationships over money and notoriety.
But just how in-depth is the Harvard Study of Adult Development? The Grant and Glueck study
followed 724 men for three-quarters of a decade to identify the
psychosocial predictors of healthy aging. The study tracked two very
different groups: 456 men from inner-city Boston and 268 Harvard grads,
including president John F. Kennedy. The researchers collected blood
samples, conducted brain scans and analyzed self-reported surveys and
actual interactions with the participants.
The
Harvard researchers are now beginning to study the children of the men
and women in the Grant and Glueck study. According to the Second Generation Study
website: “Our new project aims to study the effect of childhood
experiences on midlife health.
We aim to use our rich data set to create
a detailed model of how early events help shape our well-being in
midlife.” We’ll have to wait to find out if our childhoods shape who we
are and how happy we are as adults.
—Erin Mosbaugh
Erin
has made telling stories about food her profession. You can find those
stories in Food & Wine, LA Weekly, Serious Eats, KCET, Robb Report
and First We Feast.
What Do YOU Think?
Do you prioritize
relationships over work? Do you value being with people in the moment
over social media? Do you believe strong, thoughtful relationships lead
to true happiness?
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