
Planning to marry an Igbo lady, then forget everything they told
you that you can’t afford to marry an Igbo lady because most of these
things are lies.
In actual truth, the Igbo traditional engagement list for marriage is not as overwhelming as people usually paint it.
If your fiancée says ‘yes’ to your marriage proposal, then the next
thing is to forward your marriage proposal to her family, through the
parents.
In Igbo customs, at first, this initial marriage
proposal/introductory rite is known as “Iku aka” (which means knock on
the door).
You’ll first, have to go alone to her parents after, which you will
take your family to see her bigger family. If you are lucky to have
received a positive response from the lady’s family, the in-laws-to-be
will give the man and his family a list of the next steps to enable them
to prepare for the customary Igbo traditional marriage ceremony.
A groom-to-be is expected to ask and receive the consent and
blessings of the bride-to-be’s parents as well as her extended family.
Once they all give their consents, the groom can then proceed to
complete the rest of the traditional marriage rites, which includes, the
bride’s price (Ime ego) with a presentation of the engagement list, and
the formal traditional party (Igba-nkwu).
The list includes the gift of Umu-ada, they need to buy pieces of clothes (wrappers), shoes and bags and jewellery, etc.
Another item on the list is the gift for (Umunna), which includes
kolanuts, palm wine, bottles of Schnapps, carton of assorted drinks
(malt, soft drinks and beers) and goat. Also on the list is the general
gift (Nmepe uzo), which includes bags of rice, bags of salt, palm oil,
kerosene, stockfish, tubers of yam etc.
Intending grooms should please note that the Igbo bride price and
engagement list consists of gift items that are shared among different
groups among the bride’s family and the extended family which is made up
of (the Umunna, the Umuade, the youths etc). They are not only for
the bride parents.
Interestingly, in recent times, many Igbo parents have had to do a
downward review of the cost of the traditional marriage ceremony to help
their future in-laws. Unconfirmed sources also have it that such
decision is also intended to allow their daughters get married early as
most suitors are reported to flee the relationship once they get the
list.
Consequently, Igbo parents do this review in exchange for an
intending groom to make a commitment to take good care of their daughter
and her future children and this has given rise to more marriages among
Igbo ladies and their suitors.
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Source: The Nation
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