Former Oyo state First Lady, Florence Ajimobi, opened up to her
daughter Abisola Kola Daisi that her husband, former Oyo state governor,
Abiola Ajimobi cheated on her multiple times. She also explained how
she handled his infidelity.
During an Instagram live chat with her daughter, Florence spoke about
marriage, motherhood, growing up as a love child, and the only
condition under which divorce can be considered.
She said that she caught her husband cheating on her a few times but
she chose to forgive him each time to save her marriage. She said she
never called him out for it after he apologizes.
She said: "Even on one or two occasions that I've caught him
cheating, he will apologize. And once he apologizes and it ends, I never
go back to them again, I never Bisola, I never ever discussed it.
"Because, what I'm saying is, to err is human, to forgive is divine. We are friends.
"Even as a wife, sometimes I fall below his expectations. Sometimes we do things that is even worse than cheating."
"Like what? What is worse? What can I do that is worse than cheating?" Her first child Abisola Kola Daisi asked.
And the former First Lady of Oyo State responded: "I know some women
that build houses without their husband knowing. It's as bad. It's as
bad. Why would you do such a thing without telling him. Why?
"So, there are different things we do. It is not just cheating that
is bad in a relationship. There are some people that you know, they keep
dirty secrets and they don't tell their husbands.
"So, if you say somebody is your friend. Why are you keeping things?
"Sometimes, when I do something, sometimes, I can't even face my
husband. I send him messages when I know I've done something because I
don't want to see the hurt on his face, I just write it down. I send him
a text and he replies me that 'it's OK, Flory, we can talk about it'."
She added that for a man, having sex with his wife is different from
sex with a side chic. She said having sex with the wife is "making love"
while sex with the other woman is just sex.
"But I think most men, when they cheat, they just have sex with the
woman. And the women are smart enough. They know what they want. They
have sex with them and they...
"When a man is having a relationship with a woman he loves, he's making love, he's not having sex.
"So if you're cheap enough, give yourself to my husband. He's mine.
Whatever is mine will not go away. He will use you and come back to me.
"I tell people, it's my leftover you're eating. He's my leftover.
I've eaten the better part of him. I get the chunky meat, eat the bone,
it's none of my business. And you're doing it hush hush hush hush.
You're not enjoying it because you're stealing. You're looking, 'is
somebody there? Am I going to be caught?'
"So, he's my husband, he can't go anywhere else..."
She added that cheating hurts a woman when she loves her husband, but
a woman who doesn't love her husband wouldn't care what he does.
"If you don't love your husband, you won't be jealous. A woman that
doesn't love her husband will not care what he does out there. She
doesn't care. Even when you see him, you don't care.
"When I see my husband, you know, ahn ahn, I feel like dying. When I
love him so much and I don't want to be seen as a failure to lose him to
somebody else, so I fight for him. I'm always fighting for him, always
fighting to get him back... And he knows."
She went on to reveal how she reacts when her husband cheats on her.
She said: "Sometimes, I see my husband... I can Google the girl's
name and then I just print out the picture and put it on the bed. When
he comes back from work, he sees the girl's picture on his bed and he
knows the girl.
"I put her name, I put her telephone number and I don't say a word. I
don't say a word. I've done it before, ask him. I print it out.
"Because, when I see the phone, I use Truecaller, it will give me the
name of the person. I'll Google the name of the person. Even, one was
living in America. I Googled her, printed her picture, put it on the
bed. What do you have to say? And I left.
"So, when he went into the room, he saw it on the bed. I don't know what happened. I wasn't there. I don't know what he did.
"But, you know, he now came to me later that, 'can we discuss?' I
said, 'about what? Nothing to discuss'. 'Do you want me to send her
away?' I said, 'pay her off'."
She added: "No, I want to keep my home. So, where would I go? I'll go
and be staying alone? When I've laboured all these while then somebody
will come and enjoy? Never. It's not going to happen. Never. Never.
Never never never."
Abisola then asked her mother: "You're known to be an advocate of 'no divorce'. At what point can divorce make sense?"
Florence Ajimobi responded: "The point where I'll opt for divorce is when he becomes violent.
"But I don't buy divorce because i look at my background and
especially where I'm coming from. I'm a love child, my mother never
married my father. I was born out of wedlock. I grew up with my mum and
my stepfather and I knew what it takes . It is not the best for any
child.
"So, when I got married, I had made up my mind that when I get to the
union called marriage, it's going to be forever. And i had also made up
my mind that there's nothing the man can do, it's from his house to my
grave."
Her daughter pointed out that she mentioned she would make an
exception if violence is involved, and Ms Ajimobi stated that for a man
to get violent, the woman must have played a part.
She said: "But, for it to get violent, I tell a lot of ladies that
sometimes, you prompt it. I'm not going to let a man beat me because I'd
rather lock myself up and tell him I'm not going to ever come out
because I know he'll beat me.
"Maybe I know I've said some horrible things. You know women, we can
talk, we can get aggressive. Sometimes I know I've said horrible things
to my husband and I see the look on his face. Before it gets further, I
just lock myself in the toilet. And he'll call me to come, I'll say
'never, your going to beat me'. He'll say, "Florence, I'm not'. I'll
say, 'promise me on your mother's something, you can't beat me'.
"And he's not a bastard. You tell a man some horrible things, he gets
angry, he gets worked up. So, I want us to learn from that. We should
mind what we say. Because an angry man cannot control himself. Neither
can an angry woman control her words too.
"So, we sometimes provoke the men to that level. But when you know
you've done it, don't let any man beat you for crying out loud, don't
allow it."
Watch a short part of the interview below.
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