It is for these set of people that I am writing this piece, to see
if I can redeem the gullible ones who might have fallen victim to the
bait.
A self-styled Nigerian relationship coach, Solomon Buchi got
serious bashing on Friday after he said that no one owes his or her
parents anything. He went further to say that 90% of African parents are
entitled and toxic.
He tweeted: "You really don’t owe your parents anything — don’t
let them manipulate you into feeling that they did you a favor by
feeding & housing you, giving you education. You don’t owe them for
this. I know this will offend some people, but 90% of African parents
are entitled and toxic."
I am writing from a place of hurt because the post is about to hit
1,000 retweets and over 3.7k likes, with thousands embracing the idea as
their truths. Some have gone ahead to defend the tweet. Such a sad time
to be a Nigerian.
It is not hard to see the kind of upbringing Solomon endured from
his tweet which is the reason for his baneful thought. Statistically,
the idea that 90% of African parents are entitled and toxic is false
because there is no data to back up such a claim. Brandishing data that
is false to deceive the gullible is in itself a cheap way of leading
many people astray. Honestly, I see that tweet as hate speech against
hardworking African parents who should have used condom,
postpill/postinor 2, or even aborted such twats in the first place. If
not, why would a reasonable person utter such inanity.
Of course, many people can easily agree with Solomon:
1). People from broken homes
2). Those abused by their parents (sexually & physically)
3). People who never enjoyed parental care or love
4). Orphans.
So, if he had said that those who were abused, abandoned, or from
broken homes etc, do not owe their parents, it would have been quite
understandable. If he had said 'I Solomon Buchi, because of the way my
father abused me or because of the way my mother treated me, I owe them
nothing', we would have understood. But, rushing to join issues with all
African parents is a sacrilege that we cannot forgive easily.
Understandably, Solomon may have been abused as a child by his parents,
but that should not give him the right to lead many people astray with
his toxic coaching. Many who have a strained relationship with their
parents will latch on this diabolical tweet to become demons to their
parents.
You really don’t owe your parents anything — don’t let them manipulate you into feeling that they did you a favor by feeding & housing you, giving you education. You don’t owe them for this. I know this will offend some people, but 90% of African parents are entitled and toxic.
— ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐๐ก๐ข (@Solomon_Buchi) May 15, 2020
I am really disappointed in Solomon. I thought he was doing well with his coaching career, only for him to spoil it with his dramatic clout chasing manoeuvres.
I've had this memory entrenched in me over time how my father and
mother suffered trying to bring me and my six other siblings up. They
sacrificed everything for us and sometimes had to go hungry just to see
that we survive. Such level of sacrifice makes it even foolish if I had
waited to see them beg for something I can afford before I answer them. I
still feel sad that my father and mother are not around to enjoy the
sacrifice they made on my behalf. I owe them all I have.
When I got admission into Government College Umuahia many years
ago, it was my sweet mother who carried my locker on her head as my
little self started my secondary school journey. You could see the proud
smile on her face and the resolve in her mind to see me through even in
those difficult times. Or is it the countless times she went to the
farm many miles away, enduring hours under the hot sun just to see that
we eat? How about my university days? The sacrifices father and mother
made. I will stop there please, remembering all these stories will make
me cry.
My story is akin to that of thousands of other Nigerians who
proudly come from poor homes and have through hard work, made it in
life. If Nigerians should start telling stories of the sacrifice their
parents made to see them reach their present level, I am sure social
media will not contain it.
It is necessary that we correct the 'indomie generation' of
ungrateful scallywags who are happy to be led astray by clout chasing
online savages only interested in growing their followers. These set of
bitter individuals in a bid to sound 'woke', are content at leading many
astray.
Even the holy book encouraged children to take care of their
parents. Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do
not despise your mother when she is old.”
While unfortunate children hide under the 'You really don’t owe
your parents anything' tweet to despise and abandon their parents,
Africans who are cultured and naturally empathic, even when their
parents wronged them would find ways to reconcile and not propagate such
hate.
Before my mother died, she was the love of my life. I could give my
life for her and the day she died, I was devastated that my prayer to
swap places wasn't answered. Even in death, I still love and adore her.
Nothing, I mean nobody has the right to tell others to treat their
parents badly because they come from broken homes. Deceiving people into
hating their parents with the idea that they owe them nothing is a
teaching from a wicked soul.
I owe my parents everything, even in death. It is my resolve to
continue to make them proud by my actions and inactions. Here I stan!
Alexander Thandi Ubani
thandiubani@yahoo.com
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